3 Things at 45 I know about God

At 45 you begin to put the pieces together. You know what kinds of food you like. You know what bugs you. You know what kinds of people are right for you to hang with. And hopefully you know something about God. Not the Divine, not the Great Unknown, but God. Knowing God as a person means in some cases walking away from what your parents and Sunday School teachers taught and beginning to figure out who God is for yourself. I know 3 things about God at this point that are unshakable.
God is in the messy places.
A former supervising pastor of mine retired last Sunday. Her name is Linda and she is a wonderfully messy person. Theologically.  I wanted to go to her final service but even after all this time I can't bring myself to rehash any of the time I spent as a pastor. I guess I still have a hard time facing my biggest self inflicted failure. However, I learned a lot about God through her. I learned that God loves the messy places. God could spend his time in places that are neat and tidy. Where worship is tight and where everything works. But I learned through her that God is most manifest in the messy places. The places that people are afraid to go to. He loves to be around people who the rich and powerful have abused and forgotten. Linda in her ministry spent time in a very messy place and brought light to many people.  And she never gave up on her place, even when she had reason to. God loves messy places
God likes to be around real people.
One of my favorite pastors growing up was Roy. Roy and I came into the conference together. And while I struggled with an over inflated ego and self worth, coupled with Bi Polar disorder. Roy, was like a calm quiet farm. Very steady. He loved his people and I think they loved him back. He pastored my home church to the day it was killed by the Minnesota Conference. I remember on really bad Sunday's coming back to my home church before service and he presided over a Sunday breakfast. I can tell you to this day who was where. I can tell you that the food was good. The conversation better and that it always felt like the safest place on Earth to me. Roy always told it like it was and to this day I assume he still likes to mix this with stories of home and social justice. God loves to be around real people.
Finally...
God doesn't hide from us. We just don't like to look him in the eyes.
Over the years I have heard from many people that God is so far away from them. I think they mistake him being far away from them for being enveloped by him. God is that guy at the party who is in the room drinking but not really talking with anyone....at least not in a regular fashion. Sure he might chime in from time to time but he only mumbles a little advice from time to time. But when he does talk. People tend to quiet down a bit because he always has something to say worth listening to. Sometimes though his voice is ignored. Maybe he rubbed you the wrong way or hasn't been by your place in a while. But your ignoring him doesn't remove him from the room. He is the guy that looks you in the eyes in the way only someone who knows you very deeply can. And many times we have a hard time seeing love in another's face. Maybe some of you reading this can easily look in a lovers face and drink in the caring, the unmerited love and attention. But for me I have learned over the years that God sees all of me. And I don't like some of the places he sees. I can't clean them up, I can't heal the wounds. I am laid bare before him. And its hard to look in his eyes for long.
So I know at 45 three things about God. These are the things I know to the depths of my soul. I am very sure before I leave here I will learn much much more.